Parasite
by melahoney
Summary: So right after Itachi kills his clan, Sasuke gains a parasite that can't die and has offered to help Sasuke anyway possible. But help in what is the question: to learn to live, kill Itachi or drive him insane whatever comes 1st he guesses
1. Guardian Angle

_**Parasite**_

_By melahoney_

Discliamer: Don't own Naruto or Harry Potter but Alex is mine.

Chapter 1 – Guardian Angle

* * *

Alex was just a floating thing of nothingness at the moment. She was stuck in limbo and she was annoyed by it. She was suppose to be dead! She had destroyed her body so that she couldn't regenerate. That suicidal plan had obvious back fired. Now she was in a worst situation than before. All she wanted was to see her family again; was that too much to ask?

She felt her magic react to…something. She felt it too. What it was…she had no clue.

Sighing Alex just decided to give control to her magic and let it lead the way. Magic had gotten her in to this mess in the first place, it can get her out. After all, it was the one that wanted to live.

After what seemed like an eternity and yet just a moment of travel (how they were traveling she didn't know or care) she found her self in front of a young boy of-what she guessed-seven years old. And just as quickly as she noticed him she was inside him. Invading his body just like a parasite…well, she guessed that is what she was now since she had no body.

The boy had magic and was fighting against hers…or that's what she thought at first. No, her magic and the boy's were in fact merging…or at least, as much as possible. She had too much magic to properly merge with the boy at this point in time. Still the merging process caused one heck of a show. The boy it seemed had a lighting base magic which resulted in a lot of lighting bolts to hit around the room.

Alex felt sorry for the poor soul who would have to fix the room once this was over. She noticed some people trying to get into the room but were being pushed back by the wind she was causing, the boy wasn't aligned with wind. And those people who managed to get a certain distances in were hit by lighting.

Soon though, she noticed that the magic that had been thrown into the air was now claming down and returning to its owner–her and her new host. She, herself, settled into the back of the boy's mind, no one the wiser.

Alex felt people rushing around, trying to figure out what had happened. She watched them through the magic that was still in the air as they busied themselves with checking the boy and the room. After about three hours, and a new room change, they all left, not finding anything.

Now Alex was bored. Curious about her new home/host, she decided to go through the kid's memories. She started at the beginning. Uchiha Sasuke, born July 23, second son of the clan's head, favorite color blue, older brother Uchiha Itachi, friends none, and the list she was making in her head-figuratively speaking-about the boy went on and on. Then she got to his most resent memories.

Alex watched the memories replay in front of her starting the Sasuke coming home late from 'training' as he called. As she watched Alex remembered her own life and how it had lead to her trying to kill herself.

The memories ended with him falling unconscious after going into shock. Alex sat there wondering what to do now. She knew Sasuke would vow revenge once he got over the trauma and she also knew how he would end up if he followed that path. Now she had a choice: leave the boy alone and just be an unknown passenger as he goes through life or make contact and guild him down a least destructive path.

As she ponder on what to do she felt Sasuke begin to wake up. He wondered where he was and what had happened. He didn't immediately remember what had happen but when he did; she felt his sorrow and pain very acutely. Alex was reminded of her twin and she knew that she no longer had a choice. She was going to make contact.

'_Hello.'_

Sasuke jumped and looked around. Alex sniggered at Sasuke's action which further confused the boy.

"Who's there?!" Sasuke demanded.

'_There is no need to speak. I can hear your thoughts,'_ Alex said thinking of what she would tell Sasuke about herself.

'_Where are you?'_

'_Here.'_

Alex could feel Sasuke's annoyance and laughed again.

'_Who are you then?'_

Alex paused then answered, _'You can say I am now your guardian angle. You can call me Fuchi.'

* * *

_

Hi people. Well review if ya want. Reviews would be nice but with my luck I'm not going to get any. Tch. Anyways this isn't a Harry Potter crossover…much but there are some references to the books. Mostly by Alex aka Fuchi. So review and tell me what you think.

Fuchi-Abyss

And if anyone thinks differently tell me. I got it online and I think Fuchi is the translation of Abyss…not sure. Anyways next chapter time skip to Genin exam! Yea…I'm lazy.


	2. Four Years Later

_**Parasite**_

_By: melahoney_

Disclaimer: Last time I checked I had no money, therefore Naruto is not mine.

Chapter 2- Four years later…

* * *

It had been four years since Sasuke had gotten his alter ego. And surprisingly nothing much had happened. Both learned more about each other, Fuchi being obscure about her past and Sasuke teaching her about his world; seeing as how Fuchi knew everything about him she couldn't really learn more about HIM him. She didn't teach him amazing jutsu that were high level or some ultimate fight style. In fact, Sasuke knew more about fighting styles than she did. However, Sasuke quickly found out that she did have knowledge in how to use what you do know to win. Something she tried to teach Sasuke but it was just one of those things where you have to learn for yourself.

But Fuchi had succeeded in one thing and that was convincing-threatening-him not to make his life goal to kill Itachi. If he could and the opportunity showed itself, then she said knock himself out, but if it was his life goal then she would either kill him or make his life hell. So Sasuke's new life goal was to start a family and do everything in his power to prevent what happened to his family happened again.

Still, Fuchi was not happy that Sasuke had not made any friends…though with who he had to choose from, she didn't really blame him for not making any. Though she had noticed that the blond haired boy was making progress in cracking her host's stone wall…maybe if they had to work together then they could become friends…

'_Or it could be wishful thinking on your part Fuchi,'_ Sasuke thought to her. _'And would you stop thinking and remising out load. I'm trying to take a test.'_

'_Maybe if you say please, and you can do this in your sleep! Heck I can even do this!'_ Fuchi snapped back.

'_Tch, only if you have a body. And fine, please would you be quiet,'_ Sasuke replied.

'_Fine,'_ Fuchi said and blocked her thoughts from making their way to Sasuke. She mused a bit then started to watch what was going on though Sasuke's eyes.

It was the last day of school and everyone was taking the final test to become a ninja. Fail and you had another year of the academy. Still, Fuchi thought that this test was way too easy. Maybe they would have to take another test later…

It was Sasuke's turn; everyone was taking the test separately. She watched Sasuke breeze through the test and graduate.

'_Congratulations brat,'_ Fuchi thought to Sasuke as he picked up his head band and headed to the front of the school.

'…_Thanks,'_ Sasuke said after viewing all the other graduates with their families. Both of them knew the pain of loneliness.

'_Let's get out of here…go treat yourself to a nice dinner,'_ Fuchi said as they continue to watch the families. Then Fuchi saw the blond come out of the building and sit on a near-by swing. _'Hey, looks like your friend didn't graduate.'_

'_He's not my friend,'_ Sasuke denied.

'_Uhuh and I have a body. Why don't you go talk to him?'_

'_And say what?'_

Fuchi hadn't a clue. So with one last glance at the blond, they left the boy alone sitting on the swing. Truth be told Fuchi had even worst social skills than Sasuke.

So Sasuke headed to a local but pricey restaurant that he enjoyed going to when he felt like it.

'_Are you going to try something new or be boring?'_ Fuchi asked as Sasuke was seated.

'_Boring,'_ Sasuke as he ordered the same thing he always does when he came here.

'_You do this because it annoys me right?'_

'_Of course Fuchi-san, I whole purpose in live is to make sure you are always annoyed,'_ Sasuke snapped back with a roll of his eyes.

'_Glad to know you know what you want to do with your life,'_ Fuchi though back and Sasuke got a picture of her examining her nails with it.

Sasuke thought that his self-control in not pounding the table with his head was admiring.

'_Yea, you keep telling yourself that,'_ Fuchi responded and Sasuke took a deep breath to clam down before thanking the blushing waitress for his food.

"Itadakimasu," Sasuke said ignoring Fuchi for now. The only other person he knew who could get under his skin as much as Fuchi was the dobe.

'_Which is why he is your friend,'_ Fuchi said matter-of-factly.

'_Would you just drop that already?!_' Sasuke shouted at her.

'_Tch, you know, in your head you're like a completely different person than the one people see,'_ Fuchi mused. _'Maybe if you didn't scowl so much people might like you more.'_

'_I wonder whose fault it is that I scowl so much, and don't you act like a different person in your head than what you let people see.' _Sasuke retorted, taking a bite of food.

'_Not to the degree you do,'_ Fuchi said in a bored tone.

There was silence in Sasuke's head as he continued to eat. Sasuke a sip of water when Fuchi asked, _'So when are you going to get married?'_

Sasuke chock on the water and it took him a moment to get his breathing under control. He flushed as a lot of the other customers turned to look at him.

'_You did that on purpose,'_ Sasuke growled.

'_So what if I did?'_ Fuchi asked back.

Sasuke just growled; he could do nothing to her. She had more control of their mindscape than he did.

'_So are you going to answer my question?'_

"Gochisosama," Sasuke said as he stood and paid for his dinner. Then thought, _'I'll marry when you are no longer in my head.'_

'_And why wait till then? I could give you advice on how to deal with your wife. Your wife could_ _be the envy of all the other wives,'_ Fuchi said.

'_Because knowing you, you do something weird and an inappropriate moment.'_

'_Like while you two are have sex?'_

Sasuke misstep and had to catch himself before falling face first into the pavement. He straightened himself, his face as red as the tomatoes he liked to eat.

'_Yes that's what I meant baka!'_ Sasuke growled as he quickly walked away from where he had almost tripped.

'_What I could give you tips!'_ Fuchi said and he got a picture of her grinning.

'_Like I would want tips from you. Aren't you a virgin anyways?'_

'_It's debatable,'_ Fuchi said and Sasuke got the impression that she had shrugged her shoulders.

'_That's it. I am no longer having this discussion with you,'_ Sasuke said as he walked up the stairs to his apartment.

'_Kay, we'll talk more about it when you get a girlfriend,'_ Fuchi said.

Sasuke walked into the apartment and calmly closed the door before turning around and pounding his head against it.

'_And I thought you had the best self-control in the world?'_ Fuchi asked and Sasuke knew she was smirking at him.

"I do, I haven't drowned myself yet," Sasuke said out loud as a faint image of Fuchi appeared next to him.

"_True…You know,"_ Fuchi started as she watched Sasuke pound his head on the door, _"repeated head trauma could lead to mental problems."_

"I already have one and it's you," Sasuke said but stopped.

"_Glad to know I'm so loved,"_ Fuchi said as she wondered the apartment.

Sasuke flipped the lights on and walked to his bookshelf, Fuchi watched him. The apartment wasn't very big but it sure wasn't small either. One room and, in her opinion (Sasuke didn't agree with her), very bare. Walk in and the bed is right across from you by the glass sliding door that lead to the balcony. A kitchen next to the door and across from the bed with a table for two near by and the bathroom and the closet were on the left side of the apartment, along with perversely stated bookshelf. Still even if there were hardly any personal things in the apartment, it was still more than she was use to growing up. For most of her childhood she and her twin had slept in a closet under the stairs; compared to this, Sasuke's place was a castle!

"_You know if I didn't live your head I would think you were the most boring person in the world,"_ Fuchi said as Sasuke started to relax on his bed with the book he had chosen.

"You say that every time we come home," Sasuke replied.

"_And it's still true."_

"Personal items are a waste."

"_Tch, at least you should have some pictures or something…Anyways, what are you reading tonight?"_ Fuchi asked walking over to the bed. Sasuke held up the book and showed her the cover. _"__Treasure Hunt__, again? You really like that one."_

"I like the characters," Sasuke said as he started to read.

"_You mean that you like Latic and that she could be a female version of you,"_ Fuchi said a smirk forming on her face.

"She is not a female version of me," Sasuke snapped.

"_I guess…she's more likeable."_

Sasuke growled then went back to reading.

"_Don't stay up too late. You have to get your picture taken tomorrow,"_ Fuchi said as she faded from the last Uchiha's sight.

"Oyasuminasai, Fuchi-chan," Sasuke said to the empty room.

'_Oyasuminasai, Sasu-kun,'_ was the reply in his head.

* * *

And the second chapter is here! This chapter is just mostly how Fuchi and Sasuke act with each other. I hope you found it funny. Hey can anyone guess who Fuchi's twin is? There's a clue in the chapter. So ya…no one seems to like this story…

Oyasuminasai-good night

Baka-idiot, moron, stupid

Dobe-dead last


	3. Romance is so not in the air

_**Parasite**_

_By melahoney_

Discliamer: Why would I be writing a fanfic if I owned Naruto?

Chapter 3-Romance is so not in the air

* * *

It was the day of orientation; the day when all the newbie shinobi find out what they get to do now. Sasuke's photo shot had gone fine with no-

'_What do you mean fine?! You kept sending me those stupid pictures in my head and I almost started laughing!'_ Sasuke shouted at Fuchi, the voice inside his head.

'_You're suppose to laugh when your picture is being taken,'_ Fuchi explained as if to a little child…or someone who was dumb.

'_Not for the one that goes in your ninja file.'_

'_I'm sure your friend was smiling when they took his picture!'_

'_He is not my friend and he probably did something stupid and had to retake.'_

'…_You know…you're probably right…'_ Fuchi mused. Sasuke managed not to sigh at how Fuchi was acting. _'Don't look now but it looks like your friend wants something.'_

'_He's not my friend!!'_ Sasuke shouted at her before turning to deal with the orange wearing baka.

"You want something?!" Sasuke snapped.

"What's that suppose to mean? Are you talking to me?!" Naruto shouted back.

'_Duh, who else would I be…oh it's her…'_ Sasuke thought and had to refrain from dropping his head on the table and groaning or some other un-Uchiha like thing.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun! Is this seat taken…?" the pink-haired girl asked sweetly, while pushing Naruto out of his seat.

'_I can't believe girls act like that! It's an insult to our gender!'_ Fuchi ranted in his head.

'_Can I kill her and be done with it?'_ Sasuke thought back.

'_I'm not stopping you,'_ Fuchi snorted.

Sasuke was going through all of his murder plans, trying to find one that wouldn't get him into trouble with the rest of the village when he noticed Naruto squatting on his desk in front of him. Sasuke glared at the blond for interrupting his plans to kill his fangirls. Sasuke was about to ask what Naruto wanted when, suddenly, the blond idiot was a lot closer. Sasuke's eyes widen when he began to realize that Naruto's lips were on his own.

'_Hahahahahaha, that, hahahaha, was, hahaha,'_ Fuchi was laughing so hard she couldn't form a sentence. Sasuke came to his sense and sprang about from the blond, hacking and coughing.

"Naruto, you piece of crap, you are dead!!" Sasuke threatened in between coughs.

'…_You know-giggles-you probably-giggles-would have enjoyed-giggles-it more if-giggles-he was a-laughs-girl,'_ Fuchi teased before bursting out laughing again.

'_Well, he's not a girl, he's a guy, and-' _Sasuke started but Fuchi had just caused him to see, with in his mind, images of him and a female Naruto in compromising positions with the two of them kissing-among other things. Sasuke could not keep the blush off his face as the images kept coming. He was just glad that everyone was to busy watching Naruto get his butt kicked to pay attention to him.

'_This is turning into a crappy day,'_ Sasuke muttered to himself.

'_What?! This should be a great day! You got you first kiss!'_ Fuchi chirped.

'_Yea, with a guy. I am not gay.'_

'_My parents were gay. I don't mind if my host is too.'_

'_I'm not gay! And if I was, it would make hard for me to restart my clan, don't you think?'_ Sasuke snapped back. She was giving him a headache already and it wasn't even noon.

'_True…shame really; you and Naruto make a cute couple. Too bad he isn't a girl,'_ Fuchi sighed wistfully.

'…_I'm pretending I didn't hear that.'_

'_Tch…oh look! Iruka's here! Guess that's my que to shut up,'_ Fuchi yawned.

'_Thank you!'_ Sasuke said to whoever answered his prays. Sasuke turned his focus back to the outside world and started to listen to what Iruka was saying.

"From this day forward, you are no longer mere students of ninjustu, but full-fledged shinobi. But among the ranks of the shinobi, you are mere novices, lowest of the low. Your greatest challenges all lie ahead. The next step is the assignment of official duties to you all on behalf of our village. We will begin by dividing you into three-man cells. Each of which will be mentored by a Jonin, a more senior ninja who will guide you as you become familiar with your various assignments."

'_Three man cells? Sounds like two too many…'_

'_I think it's great! You need to work on your social skills,'_ Fuchi said.

'_Just because I'm on a team does not mean I have to be friendly with them.'_

'_It helps.'_

"I made the selections so that each cell's abilities would be approximately equal," Iruka continued.

"Wha---------------t!!" Most of the class shouted.

'_That means no fangirls or the blond baka,'_ Sasuke almost grinned

'…_You do realize you just tempted fate.'_

'…_Crap!'_ Sasuke thought and wished that he was somewhere private so he could bang his head on a wall.

'_And with your luck…you'll get both.'_

'_You just tempted fate as well,'_ Sasuke pointed out in an annoyed tone.

'_I know,'_ grumbled Fuchi.

'_You would think we learned our lesson by now,'_ they both sighed.

"Next, cell number seven…Haruno Sakura….Uzumaki Naruto….and Uchiha Sasuke."

'…_Your luck sucks…'_

'_You don't have to rub it in my face. And shouldn't you be happy? I'm force to work with the blond baka.'_

"Iruka-sensei!!" Naruto shouted pulling Sasuke back to the real world, "What were you thinking of saddling a most excellent shinobi like myself with that loser?!"

Iruka blinked then answered, "Of the 27 of you Sasuke has the best grades, Naruto. You would be the bottom of the class. The idea is to balance your different strengths..._that's_ why you ended up together!"

"Hmm," Sasuke started, "try to keep up, dobe!"

"What did you call me?!"

"Just knock it off, Naruto!"

Sasuke mentally sighed as Sakura proceeded to hit Naruto on the head.

'_Look at it this way,'_ Fuchi mused, _'You get to annoy him everyday now.'_

'_That would get old really fast.'_

'_True…just give the whole making friends a try kay?'_

'…_Fine…but no promises.'_

'_Deal.'

* * *

_

'…_Have you ever been kissed, Fuchi-chan?'_ Sasuke asked as he sat down to eat.

'_You mean besides from my brother, right?'_ Fuchi replied back, bored. Sasuke gave her a mental glare. _'…tch, yea, once. Wasn't romantic or anything, I didn't even like the guy that way.'_

'_And here I thought your first kiss would be with a girl,'_ Sasuke muttered.

'…_I don't romantically like people, male or female.'_

'_No one? Never had a crush or anything?'_ Sasuke questioned as he took a bite out of his food.

'_Never meet the right person…'_

'_So…why'd you kiss the guy then?'_ Sasuke asked bring Fuchi back on track.

'_It was his dieing wish,'_ Fuchi said. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. _'My friend had been poisoned and we couldn't get the antidote to him fast enough for one reason or another. He asked if I would stay with him as he died. I did and he told me he had fallen in love with me. Why I have no clue nor do I understand how anyone could…I'm a horrible person…I was even worst back then. I told him I loved him too…it was a lie, I only saw him as a friend. He asked for a kiss and I gave it to him…He died with a smile on his lips.'_

Sasuke was silent; thinking over what Fuchi had told him. It was rare when she would actually answer him and not give some weird vague response. Of course, when she did really answer she tended to go into a self-pitying mood that annoyed him.

'_If that was your first kiss then why'd you tell me that I should be happy I got mine?'_ Sasuke asked hoping to get the 'normal' Fuchi back. She was easier to deal with.

'_Cuz, my mentally changed friend, yours was from your future wife!'_ Fuchi grinned.

'_What?!'_ came Sasuke's startled reply.

'_Well I doubt you would be the uke and so Naruto is your future wife!'_ Fuchi continued as if talking to a little child. Sasuke had noticed that Fuchi liked to do that. _'Wife at 5 o'clock.'_

'_What-'_ was all Sasuke got out before being pulled into the room behind him.

"Hey! What the he- Naruto!" Sasuke yelled.

"Shh! Keep it down, baka!" Naruto responded as they continued to scuffle.

'_Baka?! I'll show-'_

'_Let him tie you up.'_

'_What? Why?'_

"_I want to find out what he's planning. Don't you?'_

So that was how Sasuke ended up tied up in a storage room and Naruto henging into Sasuke himself and leaving.

'_Well, now we know why he tied you up. Doesn't want you walking in on what ever he's doing,'_ Fuchi mused as they watch Fake-Sasuke leave.

'_Question now is what is he planning on doing while we're tied up,'_ Sasuke shot back as he undid the ropes.

'_Time to find out!'_ Fuchi shouted. Sasuke was glad that he no longer flinch when she did that.

"-have to know," Sasuke heard someone say in his voice as he was looking for Naruto-turn-Sasuke. Real-Sasuke stopped and hid in a tree across from Fake-Sasuke and Sakura.

'_What the heck is that baka doing?!'_ Sasuke shouted in his head.

'…_I really hope he's not trying to fix your love life…That would ruin my plan!'_ Fuchi wailed. Sasuke choose to ignore her and force on Fake-Sasuke and Sakura.

"…What do you think of…Naruto?" Fake-Sasuke asked.

"…If he had his way. I'd never find love or happiness. He ruins everything; he enjoys tormenting me! Naruto doesn't understand me at all! ...I can't stand to have him anywhere near me! In fact, the one person whose opinion I value…the only one I really want to be close to…is you, Sasuke," Sakura confessed.

'…_WHAT A SPOIL-ROTTEN BRAT! Naruto doesn't understand how she feels, ha! Naruto has a crush on her! It's the same thing she has for you!'_ Fuchi ranted.

'_How can Naruto like that girl; she just…like stabbed in the heart. That must have really hurt him,'_ Sasuke blinked. He wasn't even that mean to his fangirls. If he had had any feelings for the girl before, they were all gone now.

"I'd do almost anything to win your attention…your respect…because I have a crush on you…I'm…desperate," Sakura continued.

'_I think I'm going to be sick,'_ Fuchi muttered. _'You and that brat don't even make a cute couple! And if you two did get together and had children, knowing your luck you'll end up with like two sons who would have pink hair and like five daughters you would not have pink hair and the girls would all be short tempered brat who got everything they wanted!'_

'_**PLEASE**__!!!!!! Something happen!! Stop those two from kissing!'_ Sasuke prayed to who ever listened to him.

Suddenly, in answer to Real-Sasuke's prays, Fake-Sasuke was running away holding his stomach.

'_THANK YOU, FATE!'_ Sasuke cried.

'_That was WAY too close. You have my permission to beat the crap out of Naruto for that act. Though…why didn't you just jump down and show yourself?'_

'…_I…didn't think of that…And I don't need your permission to beat up Naruto!'_ Sasuke snapped back, a blush on his face.

'_Un-huh, whatever…let's just end this now.'_

'_Kay.'_

Sasuke jumped down to the tree and walked over to Sakura. The girl soon spotted him.

"Sasuke-kun!!! My sweet, old-fashioned boy! Did you summon up you nerve?! I'm right here, ready and waiting!!" Sakura announced.

'…_Does she know how much of a slut she sounds like?'_ Fuchi questioned.

'_Probably not,'_ Sasuke answered, then out loud said, "Recess is over. Where's that dick, Naruto?"

"You're changing the subject again!" Sakura said, then went into rant mood. "Can't we get away from Naruto for just one second?! He always comes between us! It's because he was badly brought up!! You know…because he never had any parents? He doesn't have to answer to any one, ever, and it's made him completely selfish!!! If I did the kinds of things he gets away with, my parents would ground me for life! Don't you envy him being alone, not having parents nag at you all the time?"

"You…I don't even know what to think of you any more. Kids without families always grow up selfish," Sasuke started. It took every ounce of self-control just to keep himself from hitting the girl.

"What?!" he heard her say but he ignored her and continued on.

"That, and lonely. Very lonely. Being scolded by your folks doesn't even compare!"

"…Wha…What's gotten into you all of a sudden?" Sakura questioned.

"But you know what, you have got to be more selfish than Naruto, you self-centered brat! You…you just make me sick," Sasuke finished. He couldn't think of a better word for how he…they felt about her. Fuchi was just as pissed off at her as he was. In fact, Sasuke thought that she was even more pissed off. Sasuke turned and left Sakura to think about what he had said.

'_You know…I don't think I'll beat Naruto up after all…'_ Sasuke said as he walked back to the classroom.

'_Yea…Don't know what Naruto sees in that…whatever she is,'_ Fuchi mused. Sasuke could still feel the anger rolling off her but both of them were calming down.

"Gaaah!" a shout sounded, pulling them both from their thoughts. Naruto was in front of them pointing his finger at Sasuke. "What are you doing here?!"

"A simple rope trick. Any good ninja is an escape artist. Try to keep that in mind…dobe," Sasuke smirked before continuing his walk.

'_Hehe, well teasing him will sure be fun while it last,'_ Fuchi smirked.

'_Guess so,'_ Sasuke responded.

'_Anyways…Meeting new sensei, here we come!!!'_ Fuchi shouted like a little kid.

'_Grow up already!'_ Sasuke snapped back. But Sasuke couldn't help a small, secret smile. He loved Fuchi just the way she was, though he would deny it to his dieing breath.

* * *

Hey look I made it to three chapters! Yea…does any one even care…I guess not…so anyways, got to learn a little more about Fuchi…and we got to tease Sasuke about Naruto! Ah so anyways…for anyone who likes Sakura, sorry. I really didn't mean to bash her that much…not much of a fan of hers…and I really don't like her in the beginning, so ya…Next up…enter Hatake Kakashi! How will Fuchi act to our most favorite, late, pervert sensei? Read to find out! 


	4. Enter Hatake Kakashi!

_**Parasite**_

_By melahoney_

Disclaimer: I'm so poor Christmas got canceled…do you really think I still own Naruto?

Chapter 4 – Enter Hatake Kakashi!

* * *

'_I'm so bored!'_ Fuchi mourned. Sasuke held back a twitch at how annoying his head-mate was being.

'_What do you have to be bored about? You live in my head,'_ Sasuke snapped back.

'_Yea…but normally you aren't waiting around doing nothing for two freakin' hours!!!'_ Fuchi shouted_. 'What teacher makes his students wait for two hours with nothing to do…Doesn't he know that could lead to bad things?'_

'_Why do you think our sensei is a guy?'_ Sasuke asked ignoring everything else she said.

'…_don't know…just think that,'_ Fuchi shrugged. _'Hey, what's ya wife up to?'_

'_For the last time Naruto is not my wife!'_ Sasuke shouted at her. He got the impression that she was sticking her tongue at him.

"It's what he gets for making us wait!!" the blond baka announced jumping of the table he had used to place the eraser in the door.

"Grow up! I want on part of it!" Sakura humped.

"Tch, no way could a superior shinobi be caught by such a simple booby trap!" Sasuke huffed.

'_You never know. Often times the most simplest traps are the easiest to fall for,'_ Fuchi mused. _'Anyways seems like he's here!'_

Sasuke looked up just in time to see a hand pull open the door and the eraser hit the man's head.

"Hahahaha!! Gotcha! Good one!" Naruto laughed, pointing at the one-eyed man.

"I'm sorry sensei. I tried to stop him, but Naruto…" Sakura trailed off.

'…_I guess your right…' _Sasuke admitted, his eye twitching at how weak their new sensei appeared to be.

'_Was there a ton of chalk dust in that eraser or is the dude's hair really that white?'_ Fuchi asked. Leave it to Fuchi to state something so weird and out of place. And it was only because he had known her for so long that Sasuke did not face vault. However the twitch in his eye became more pronounced. This day was turning out to be a really long one.

"Hmm….How shall I put this?" the man they all assumed to be their new sensei, laughed, "Based on my first impression, I'd have to say…I hate you!!"

Sasuke felt the twitch in his eye increase along with the forming headache he was beginning to get as Fuchi laughed at him.

'_Look at it this way,'_ Fuchi said in-between her laughter, _'at least his impression of you can't get any worst.'_

Some how, that statement didn't really cheer him up.

* * *

"Now, I'd like you all to tell us a little about yourselves," their still nameless sensei announced once they were all settled on the roof.

"Like what?" Sakura questioned.

"…You know. The usual. Your favorite thing…what you hate most…dreams ambitions, hobbies. Things like that."

"Help us out here, coach. You go first. Show us how it's done," Naruto pestered.

"That's right…after all, you're a complete stranger to us…a mystery," Sakura chimed in.

"Oh…me? My name is Hatake Kakashi. I'm the kind of person who doesn't' feel like talking about his likes and dislikes! My dreams for the future are none of your business…but anyways, I have lots of hobbies…" Kakashi trailed off.

'_I think I like this sensei of yours…'_ Fuchi hummed.

'_Of course you would. He gives us just as vague answers as you normally do!'_ Sasuke snapped back. Fuchi just laughed.

"Now, it's your turn starting with you on the right," the newly named sensei said.

"Me, right?! My name is Uzumaki Naruto! What I like is instant cup ramen! What I like even better is when Iruka-Sensei treats me to ramen at the Ichiraku Noodle Bar!! What I hate is the three minute wait after I pour in the boiling water. My dream is to one day be a better shinobi than Lord Hokage!! And then all the villagers will have to acknowledge my existence at last!! My hobbies are pranks and practical jokes, I guess."

'_Ramen seems to be the only thing on his mind,'_ Sasuke muttered to Fuchi. He was surprise when Fuchi didn't immediately agree with him. _'Fuchi-chan?'_

'…_I guess…'_ Fuchi said after a few seconds. Sasuke frowned and quickly went over what the blond had said. 'Later Sasuke, it's your turn.'

Sasuke blinked and managed not to blush and quickly went into his intro.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. My dislikes are annoying people who don't know when to drop a joke that died years ago. My likes are peace and quite. Hobbies are reading and training. I don't have dreams but goals. And those are to find information on certain things no matter what the cost."

'Information?' Sakura pondered.

'That is so lame!' Naruto frowned glaring a Sasuke.

'…That's not what I expected…wonder who the annoying person is,' Kakashi mused before saying out loud, "And finally, the young lady."

'_Wow, Sasuke, you even remembered to say what your hobbies were. Wonder who was thinking about me_…' Fuchi blinked after she had sneezed. How she could sneeze when she didn't have a body was beyond him but it happened.

'_Hn, you would have give me a bigger headache if I didn't answer properly. And who would think about you?'_

'_Don't know.'_

"Enough," Kakasi said pulling Sasuke back to the real world. "I believe we all understand one another. Formal training begins tomorrow."

"Yes, sir! What will our duties be?!" Naruto shouted then chuckled, "Our first real shinobi mission!"

Sasuke could even swear he heard him mutter 'boy-oh-boy' in between it all. _'…and this is the person you want me to hook up with?'_

'_Better than any of those fangirls of yours and you just click together; whether you acknowledge it or not,'_ Fuchi said.

"Our first project involves only the members of this cell," Kakashi continued.

'_And me!'_ Fuchi exclaimed in Sasuke head. Sasuke felt the twitch throb again.

"What is it? What?" encourage our favorite blond hero.

"Survival exercises."

'_Well then this will be a piece of cake,'_ Fuchi comment.

'_Yep,'_ Sasuke agreed. And it was true. One of the few 'helpful' things Fuchi had taught him was how to survive in any environment and adapt to different things. She herself was very good at it.

"But you'll have to survive…against me. It won't be your typical practice," Kakashi answered Naruto and Sakura's questions. They had asked some while Sasuke was talking to Fuchi.

"Well, then, what kind of practice will it be?" Naruto asked. Kakashi just chuckled.

"What are you laughing about, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura questioned.

"Oh, nothing. It's just that, if I told you, you'd chicken out."

"Chicken out…? Why?!"

"Of the twenty-seven of your graduation class only nine will actually be accepted as junior level shinobi. The other eighteen must go back for more training. The test we are about to perform has a 66 percent rate of failure," Kakashi announced with a doom and gloom effect in the background.

'_Knew that stupid exam was way too easy!'_ Fuchi shouted for are the world to hear. Unfortunately, for our black haired hero, he was to only one to hear. He twitched at the sudden loud voice ringing inside his head. '_This is so going to be fun! Don't you think so Sasu-chan?'_

'_Don't call me that!'_ Sasuke snapped back. He was so ready for this day to be over.

"Hahaha! See? You're chickening out already!" Kakashi laughed at them.

"That sucks!!!" Naruto suddenly shouted. "We have been through hell! What about our graduation test?!"

"Oh! We wanted to eliminate all the hopeless cases from your ranks. The ones who are left are the only students who show true potential," Kakashi said, waving Naruto's question and statements off.

"Say what?!!" Naruto shouted back but was ignored and Kakahi went on.

"In any event, we'll meet tomorrow morning on the practice field so that I can evaluate each of your skills and weaknesses. Bring all of you ninja tools and weapons. And don't have breakfast beforehand…unless you enjoy throwing up," Kakashi stood up and walked over to them pulling out three leaflets for them. "The details of your assignment are in the handout. Memorize it and don't be late!"

"Throw up? How hard is this exercise going to be?!" Sakura panicked as Kakashi handed the leaflets to them.

Sasuke glanced at the paper before crumpling it and placing it in his pocket. It held everything Sensei had said as well as the time and place they were to meet.

"Well that it for today. Dismissed till tomorrow!" Kakashi grinned; and with a small wave of his hand disappeared.

Sasuke stood up and started to walk away but was interrupted by the pink-haired girl.

"Um…Sasuke-kun, would, you know, like to go out with me?" Sakura asked shyly.

"No," Sasuke said curtly and had to force himself not to run home. He heard Naruto saying that he would go out on a date with her.

Sasuke and Fuchi didn't talk at all till they reach his house. After closing the door Sasuke proceeded to bang his head on the door. Fuchi appeared next to him a watched for a few minutes.

"_Do you really want go to a metal hospital? 'Cuz if you do, just tell people that you talk to a voice in your head that's named Fuchi," _Fuchi said._ "You don't have to bang your head on the wall every day."_

"I don't bang my head everyday and I feel like I have a right to bang my hand on the wall today. Today sucked."

"_Hum…Yea, but your headache is only going to get worst,"_ Fuchi mused. Sasuke stopped and sighed._ "Guess today has been a long day for you."_

"You think," Sasuke glared then got up and headed to the kitchen to dig up something to eat. "So what about Naruto had you thinking?"

"_Well…his dream,"_ Fuchi started, 'sitting' on a chair at the table.

"What becoming Hokage? Why would you be interested in that?"

"_No his reason why he wants to become Hokage; to be acknowledge by the villagers."_

"So what?" Sasuke said as he sat down to eat his dinner. "Itadakimasu."

"_You really don't get it,"_ Fuchi said then shake her head. _"You see Naruto is just trying to prove himself to everyone. Why, I don't know but it could be because he has no parents. The fact that he said the whole village has me wondering…"_

"Wondering what…couldn't it just be because he has no parents like you said?"

"…_Have you ever notice the looks he gets from the older generation? From your own memories, your own parents seemed to hate and fear Naruto."_

Sasuke paused in his eating and thought back. What Fuchi said was true. His parents did seem to feel that way towards the blond. In fact, he remembered his parents saying to stay away from Naruto.

"Yea…but why? It can't be just because of his pranks…could he be blamed for something his parents did?" Sasuke thought out loud.

"_Maybe, but…I don't think so…and it's just a feeling Sasu-kun,"_ Fuchi added seeing the look on Sasuke's face.

"Well, as interesting as this is, we don't have all the facts and I have a test tomorrow. So what do you think of Kakashi-sensei's 'survival exercise'?"

"_You're going to have to either get past him to get something or take something from him."_

"That's all you got?" Sasuke twitched. He himself had come up with that.

"_For now, yes. You will get more infor on what you're suppose to do tomorrow. And as for advise, I say eat breakfast tomorrow and don't worry about being late to it. Maybe go early to set up traps."_

"Tch, Gochisosama," Sasuke said and got up and began to do dishes. "I'll eat breakfast but I don't think I'll set up traps. We don't know what he wants us to do exactly and traps could lead to problems."

"_True…well that's all I really got for you. I'll help you during the test as well."_

"Isn't that like cheating? You never helped well I was at the academy."

"_You're a ninja, use everything you got. Besides, if the test is too easy you won't need my help anyways."_

"You are so weird," Sasuke sighed as he dried his hands and head towards his bed.

"_This coming from the person who talks with the person inside his head and is going to marry the orange wearing ninja…sure I'm weird…"_

"Who said anything about me marrying Naruto?!" Sasuke shouted at her.

"_Hehe, I do,"_ Fuchi giggled, barely preventing herself from laughing at the young Uchiha.

"I so hate you," Sasuke muttered as he picked up his book and started to read, planning on completing ignoring Fuchi.

"_Love you too, Sasu-kun,"_ Fuchi said with a soft smile as she faded. _'Don't stay up too late…'

* * *

_

…Was planning on including the bell test but then the chapter got really long so decided to stop here…Didn't really learn anything about Fuchi's past in this chapter…Maybe the next one? So Fuchi likes how Kakashi acts, mostly because she is convinced that he is out to make the three newbie's life hell just like she makes Sasuke's life.

Anyways I notice that someone liked this enough to put on their alert so I guess at least one person likes this besides my sister…but still no reviews…Shame…You know I wanted to write this because I read stories were Naruto and Sakura get special powers, like a bloodline or voice in their head instructing them and making them more powerful and giving them cool powers…so I decided to make one were Sasuke gets some cool powers (and he will later on, right now he only has Fuchi annoying him) I actually thought of giving Sakura Fuchi first then thought about Naruto. Then I was all hey, Sasuke never has this happen to him (at least I don't think I've seen any stories were this thing happens) so I decided that Sasuke get's Fuchi. So ya…

Doesn't anyone read these? I do sometimes…So anyways…if you like the story review, add to favorites, or add to alert. If you think I could do something better review. Oh and if any one cares I'm not planning on hooking Fuchi up with any one. To me Fuchi just doesn't seem like the type to fall in love or anything like that. And she just sees Sasuke as a little brother she can annoy the heck out of. So ya…I'll shut up now…


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